Feelings As A Kind Of Data

by John The Rabbit

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about

Poetry-breathed experimental pop with a touch of ambient. Love songs and prayers in an age of tyrants.

credits

released December 9, 2017

Instruments and singing by John The Rabbit
Backing vocals by Mahira Kakkar

Recorded, engineered, mixed, mastered by John The Rabbit in the spare bedroom, in autumn of 2017

special thanks to Mahira Kakkar, Eric Leonhardt Brown and M.S. Borders

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all rights reserved

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about

John The Rabbit New York, New York

John The Rabbit is the nom du guerre of poet, programmer and musician John Paul Davis.

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Track Name: Fuxxed Rx
I was not ok that year
drinking myself to sleep
blank gazed, vexed to nightmare
eating rough poetry

waxing unspeakable
& wearing my wolf face
bankrupt & underfed
sorrow dragged me half dead

even the moon wouldn’t look at me
browser clearing it’s own history

They prayed for me
They gave me pills
speaking in tongues
they passed the bill

smear my lips in the ashes of flags
I feel the touch of an invisible hand
they prayed & god’s watching over me
I was hoping to stay below his radar
Track Name: Tired Of Winning
the heart is not a ballot box
overdosed on network truths

storm clouds loom overhead
we were born to these dark times

I'm just so tired of winning

one terrible sound drowns out all others
speaking in a voice of rust

I’m so clever with my smartphone
all empires become dust

you know the president's insane
always says the craziest things

pardon while I take this call
I belong to my machines

I'm just so tired of winning

the angel spoke just one syllable
thermonuclear gust

I’m so pathetic with my laptop
whose data does in trust?

I'm just so tired of winning
Track Name: Common Smartphone Problems And How To Handle Them
Switching tabs
while the atmosphere worsens
sent to the cloud
feelings as kind of data
i see my face
reflected when it isn't working
the light is strange
glows but it never burns me

They're so loud they can't hear it bark
I'm gone
I'm gonna go dark

can you host?
I heard about the home invasions
database
matching you with a profile
I can't think
panic while it scans my thumbprint
rest assured
somebody has something on me

They're so loud they can't hear it bark
I'm gone
I'm gonna go dark

knows what I want
waits patiently
don't leave home without it
it's a part of me
I swallowed it all
clear history
I bought it all
shows me what I want to see
Track Name: An Echo Of You Remained In The Transporter Buffer
a glitch in the system
& you reappeared
not really a ghost
& not really here
a pixelated whisper
a lifelike afterimage
the memory of a song

security said to shoot you
the captain disagreed
the android believed in you
the whiz kid was intrigued
I made you laugh again
just like old times
singing along in dreams

It hurt like a movie
It ached like a dream
you stared at the galaxies
like a set of lost keys
and we drifted on
yeah we moved along
we moved along

it’s always night in space
but I couldn’t sleep
I guess I was hoping
just like before
for a last minute solve
but no one could fix you
nobody knew how

you materialized
above my bed
you could tell
you were coming apart
so you kissed my head
& then disintegrated
you were gone again

we float like on TV
sad as science fiction
I stare at the galaxies
lost in transition
warp factor ten
yeah we moved along
we moved along

all these miracles
& none of them could save you
Track Name: Go Bag
the news has me feeling knocked about
pretty soon the kids will be calling us out
for doing what in our day was radical good
I think I'm okay with going back to being misunderstood

These are the years when we wear our winter faces
I keep believing I hear angels & trumpets
I keep expecting
the end the end the end

a train fire
a hit & run
a blood clot
student loan

climate change
hurricane
riot gear
domestic drone

why won’t you pick up your phone?

when can we go home?

diets & pills
these burial rites
these miracle cures
these American guns

I smile every time you smile
I sigh every time you sigh
today could be the day we die
Track Name: No Data
the clouds where you live
are my favorite kind
all water vapor
no data
switch off your phone
that pretty hate machine
just log off
just let go

in the grocery wastelands
of this failing nation
strip mall floodlights
you stand under
for a second of beauty
a moment of grace
your heart barking
junkyard dog

alone in your car
resurrection drive
sing in the front seat
no headlights
all this music
rainlight highway
you say lately
you've been crying

a year of regret
lifetime speeding too fast
swallow medication
you tell me
you're not afraid
of dying
the terrifying thing
is not really living

Should the madmen succeed
bring the country down in flame
I’m still happy to be here
I’m still glad that I know you
old friend
we're so red-handed

maybe my meds won't work
or maybe yours won't either
I'm still grateful to love you
I'm still moving toward you
old friend
we're so last century
Track Name: Save As
The sirens sobbing
the sad facts a city knows
Do you speak their language
Can you read their glow?

Maybe they’re lonely
Maybe they’re laughing
Maybe they’re lost
and they don’t find you guilty

Ionesome after a friend’s wedding
you had nowhere to go
holding down a twilight
street corner in the first snow

I know I wasn’t a good friend to you
When I was a friend in need
This time instead of ruining everything
I’ve got an armful of books for you to read

been writing a poem for you
for the past 5 years
save as
save as
save as draft
Victoria, Victoria
press any key
to wake yourself from sleep

one day the sun
will get all over everything
one day you’ll glide
straight on through
one day becomes
another day
becomes one more day
until it’s all come true
Track Name: Emergency Contact
t's a swim upstream
walking in this city without you
I took my pills
yes I know sometimes I forget to
I balance on
the rhythm of your laughter
I don't need much
just you, some books, an apartment

if something should ever happen to me
I gave them your name & number
when the subway's delayed inside me
your voice is the one that brings me comfort

I get so lost
need to stick with you at the party
i forget how to talk
I'm much better with you beside me
give me the phone
i'll be the one to take the picture
i know you know
I don't like the way I look in photos

if something should ever happen to me
I gave them your name & number
when nations go to war inside me
your touch is the one that brings me comfort

we walked until
our feet were made of smoke
sober in love
in this city nearly a ruin
yes we're sure
we want to delete our account
we blur into one
falling asleep tangled hearts

if something should ever happen to me
I gave them your name & number
when planets break apart inside me
your star is the one that brings me comfort
Track Name: Telepresence
today is just one of those days
your face onscreen
500 miles away
you glitch mosaic
blur then snap sharp
your voice skidding
in the oracle dark
pinhole camera
on the miracle phone
pixelated love
when are you coming home


i miss your voice & body
every word & gesture
this house is colder without you
I crave but cannot touch you


ghost town sidewalks
smeared skies
manufactured smells
video at midnight
blowing kisses
& long silences
flattened versions
of our faces
your bitcrushed voice
on the goddamn phone
pixelated love
when are you coming home

i miss your voice & body
every word & gesture
this house is colder without you
I crave but cannot touch you
Track Name: Biofeedback
angel engine
pumping gift
keep on sparking
electric fist

don’t fail on me
jumping red heat
stay with me now
necessary beat

please forgive me
crimson drum
beating brother
thunder son

don’t fail on me
fluttering knot
stay with me now
work blossoming hot

biofeedback
anxious me
hypertension
bomb-shaped heart

don’t fail on me
self contained fire
stay with me now
single-voiced choir
Track Name: Snugglebunny
Put your leg over mine
Touch your nose to my neck
Lay your ear on the drum
that dooms in my chest

These are the days
when everyone pays
for our attention

babe let’s go broke
by staying at home
with our affections

Switch your ringer to vibrate
Close your laptop’s cold mouth
trace your name on my arm
while humming that sound

The particular grace
of the way that you taste
in the morning

Babe it’s alright
to stay in tonight
Let’s be boring

There’s a party tonight
let’s stay home & rest
Land the bird of your hand
in my fingers’ nest

There’s ten million ways
to sell off our days
let’s ignore them

Freedom’s the choice
to make just one voice
most important
Track Name: Fluid Bonded
Wear my wings if you want
I don’t need to fly today
Here are my branches
If you need a place to lay

Call this mess home
Call this mess home

Let’s pretend we’re invisible
Sleep the whole workday away
Grip the moon in my teeth
Something to light your way

Call this mess home
Call this mess home

Tell me I’m your favorite room
Waste some time with me soon

I swallowed a strand of your hair
& sang into your neck
Clean dishes & paperwork
darling I got no regrets

Don’t let me go
Don’t let me go

Sky in my mouth
& you on my mind
I long for the grace
Of your fingers so kind

Call this mess home
Our tired feet know

Switch off your phone
Call this mess home
Track Name: 181 St. Hymn
swallow this autumn city’s
rainfall & the laughter
from the domino apothecaries
underneath our open window

don’t you know
the night has it own
appropriate beauty
we’ll thrive there too

I love you in this age of despots
anxious one I promise
we’ll make it through these years of tyrants
whole & healed if not holy

we don’t have to eat
their loser’s rage
come away home

once again my hands
are no longer empty
I won’t drop your heart
your name is safe on my tongue
Track Name: Meet Here If We Get Separated
I'm a forest floor
I'm a discount rack
Gulping down light
Trying to navigate
between this heat and grief

hold me close as breathing
whisper me like a password
keep me safe as bone
tender as your fingerprint

I'm a roving fog
I'm all wind & ocean
Sailing like song
Hoping that I'll wash
up on your shores

hold me close as breathing
whisper me like a password
keep me safe as bone
tender as your fingerprint

Does the sun know that it shines?
Is that music in the cloud?
Tap my name down in your device.
Signal me when you want to leave.

I'm not on sale
I've started moving
Swaying with stars
Wishing that you'd carve
your name in my bark

hold me close as breathing
whisper me like a password
keep me safe as bone
tender as your fingerprint
Track Name: Joy, Thirst, Dark
the red moon under my ribs
hot when something's about to give
the joy, the thirst, the darkness of me
curiosity that kept me free
I hate but swallow the pills
if this won't kill me something else will
the future's always polluting the past
thought I'd catch it but it moved too fast

in the whale belly of night
the smallest spark still fights
my own name is a tide
memories & nothing to hide
because I am the dark
i am not afraid of the dark
can't see it but I feel it's near
so take from me my fear

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